“How are you sleeping?” This must be the number one question asked to any first time new mom. Whenever people would see me and meet Abigail they would want to know about her sleep habits (or mine). For the first few months of life I could truthfully answer that we were both doing great. I was sleeping, quite well in fact. Often it felt more than when I was pregnant, as I woke up to go to the bathroom or with a bleeding nose almost nightly. Strangely enough this was not what people wanted to hear. Most people were interested in late night horror stories of screaming babies and desperate mothers. When all I could offer them was a good sleeper who woke to feed then back to bed they had a look of disappointment on their faces.  I tried to ignore it and take some pride in our sleeping accomplishments.  This however proved to be difficult.

All new mothers can attest too people love to give advice.  Although this advice is meant to be helpful it can often lead to feelings of frustration and inadequacy.  I was told on multiple occasions that I should not be nursing Abby to sleep at night.  I was ‘creating poor sleep habits’.  I brushed these thoughts aside as both Abby and I greatly enjoyed our evening feeds, I found them relaxing and it helped me to unwind at the end of the day.  We continued with our routine of nursing to sleep and for the first few months it seemed to work well.  Then the day arrived when it stopped working all together.

As Abby grew her sleep patterns drastically changed. She began to go through numerous, and sometimes what seemed like never ending, growth spurts. This began the end of our sleep honeymoon. Abby was now waking up every two hours and would on occasion take another two to three hours to go back to sleep.  She was hungry all the time and my milk struggled to keep up with her growing demand.

During these long nights I would often think about my choice to keep nursing Abby to sleep and whether or not I had helped to create ‘poor sleeping habits’. For reassurance I reached out to a trusted source of help, my mom. She gave me what I consider the best advice for any new mother…do what you think is best for your family, you know your baby better than anyone else.

As I write this I am sitting quietly in the rocking chair in Abby’s nursery. She is curled up in my arms drinking with a small smile. Although it’s 2:34 am and I have only slept for an about an hour tonight, I repeat my moms words in my head. I’m doing what I think is best for my family and what’s best for my baby.