I have always thought of myself as a cautious and level headed individual. I like to weigh the options and all possible consequences before making a decision. Having a baby has greatly increased this cautious sense in me. I pride myself on ensuring that I am as educated as possible when it comes to the safety of Abby. I read multiple reviews online, check consumer reports for any glaring failures on the part of the manufacturer, try as much as possible to purchase items made in Canada, and of course ask everyone for their opinion (the last one is not always the best idea!)

Yesterday I was at one of my baby groups and I had one of those heart wrenching moments when you feel like a ‘bad parent’. We were talking about getting our little ones to sleep and I spoke about Abby’s new nap time routine (which is going quite well if I do say so myself). I made a joke about how she tosses and turns and chatters to herself, even pulling her bumper pads on her crib down to take a look around the room. I could feel the disapproving looks from some of the mothers, as well as the nurses who act as our facilitators. My face slowly began to get red and hot. As a natural instinct I snuggled Abby in closer, as though she would somehow protect me from their judgement. To my relief some moms also grew red and I knew they felt the same as me.

My fidgeting must have given away my thoughts and one if the nurses calmly stated that new studies have found that babies have a much higher chance of suffocation than any injury they could obtain from a limb getting caught in the bed. This had been my fear, the thought of trapped limbs had haunted me.

How had I missed this? For the last seven months I had been placing Abby in suffocation risk! I was a terrible mother! So here I sat wishing more than anything to sink into nothingness and disappear, and then from the corner if the room a voice pipped up. It was one of my friends. ‘I kept bumpers on the cribs of both my two children. No matter what you do you are endangering your baby. You just need to do the best you can.’

After these words it was as though a sudden cool breeze washed over me, all the feelings of failure were gone. I knew that I always do what I think is best for Abby. Needless to say the crib bumper pad is now bagged up in the basement!